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A Hot Car...A Fast Woman...and a Very Slow Man...

Posted by kelvinbueckert on June 15, 2017 at 12:10 AM

I ain’t the fastest man around I’ll give ya that. It took me bout two hours ta walk downtown today…that don’t sound slow until ya remember that it only takes bout 15 minutes ta drive through this whole little burg I call home…But, everybody has their weaknesses I suppose…anyhoo…I finally got to the place I was goin, so that’s all that matters, don’t it? Anyhoo…I was busy shoppin for some pots an pans an what not…when a thought came to my mind…that was somethin new for me…so, I stood there for awhile, ponderin that thought. Just savorin the novelty of it you understand…Half an hour later, I was still there, standin in the middle of the thrift store, wonderin whether flirtin with disaster meant that I was a romantic at heart, or not…when, SHE approached…”Hey there stranger,” SHE said with a sultry whisper. “I may be a stranger but you’re even stranger,” I replied, kinda cool like. I tell ya…That’s when the conversation started gettin hot an heavy…arguin about 25cent pots and and pans…then, you’re not gonna believe this, but we started gettin into the real serious stuff…stuff only a husband an wife should be sayin to each other…namely fightin about various brands of automobiles. I was a Chevy man myself…while she liked more Dodgy vehicles. After an hour or so of yellin back and forth, we finally got booted outta that thrift store…an as we were standin there on main street, SHE tossed her mane of hair, turned ta me an purred…kinda like that mangy cat that always came around the farm…Yeah, that was always a good tomcat, I’ll give ya that…I kinda miss havin’em around…but I’m gettin off track…where was I?…oh yeah…this here is what SHE was purrin ta me, “hey, handsome, why don’t we go for a little drive and settle this”…I’ll spare ya all the details…but somehow we ended goin for that a little drive…little did I realize at the time that SHE was plannin ta drive me me crazy…but, I guess I shoulda known…that’s how women are…anyhoo…in the end, I suppose we just weren’t meant ta be together…I went back ta my farm…an SHE went back ta the asylum where she escaped from…If I’ve learned anythin from this…I guess it’d just be…don’t let strange women take ya for a ride…in dodgy vehicles…

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